“I remember when we decided it was best to part ways, you told me that you don’t know how you could ever move on. It was you that told me that this was a mistake, that I was wrong.
You told me that you were happy, that my sadness wasn’t a burden. But when you told me you loved me it sounded more like throwing a floating device to a drowning child than it did a vow of forever.
I smiled, I kissed you and I walked away. Walking away from the best thing that has ever happened to me was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have ripped open my own skin, I have stolen the nutrients from my own stomach, I have isolated myself and I have tried to find answers at the bottom of bottles and empty pill packets. What I’m saying is I am no stranger to self-inflicted pain, some could argue I am an expert in punishing myself for existing. 
But walking away from you was the most pain I have ever exposed myself to. Walking away from light at the end of the tunnel, and back into the darkness was like handing an addict the bottle. 
I think that you mistook my sacrifice for you as a punishment. But it was like setting the lion that has only ever known captivity free to roam. In the beginning he may miss the boundaries and the safety, but that is just Stockholm Syndrome and the more grass he feels beneath his feet the further he will want to run.
I check up on you, and I think you have found the ability to run. You are thriving, and she makes you so happy. I am not saying that I didn’t make you happy. But I’m admitting that you were too scared not to be happy around me, almost as if you showed sadness that you feared that you would never get that ‘good morning’ text off me. Like if you reminded me what sadness looks like that it would consume me when the sun went down and I would never see the sun rise again.”
— Loving me was too much pressure for a young boy who loves life. I am happy that you can love her fearlessly, I am glad you can be sad with her, I am glad that you can fight with her and go to sleep peacefully knowing you will be able to sort it out in the morning. (Phospenous)